Socializing with a face Mask

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You don’t have to shave your face well, or at all.

You don’t have to wax your mustache or chin hair.

Lipstick, while a mood enhancer, won’t be seen.

It will be hard to tell if we are smiling at people in the street or glowering.

If the eyes are the windows of the soul, it’s time to make eye contact with our neighbors and people on the street.  Make widened happy eyes to show affection and approval. Narrow those babies to show displeasure. Squint to communicate disdain. Wink to show appreciation of another set of fine eyes.

Eyebrows will be worn thicker this season to give definition to the face.

Teeth should remain brushed, but no one will see the kale stuck to your teeth with a face mask.  

If you really piss me off, you won’t see me stick my tongue out at you.  Bliss.

If you want to mouth Fu@@ Off to your mother-in-law or boss, they won’t be able to see you. Double bliss.

Sipping milk shakes and martinis through a straw, under the mask, doesn’t count, if you count calories or points.  Why? It just doesn’t. Newton’s Law of Gravity or Physics or some other scientific principal I wasn’t taught in Catholic school.

You won’t need Botox to fill out your lips as they won’t be seen.

Or a nose job. Cyrano is back, baby.

You can let your face hang out.

Making kissy noises with your lips won’t be noticed.  Sex maniacs please refrain from going nuts here, ok?

Educators, this is a teachable moment for understanding how Burqas and Niqabs might feel.

This is the time to take up Marcel Marceau inspired mime movements.  Communicate with the arms and hands and body to convey your emotions. Dip your shoulders, wiggle those hips. Think Balinese dancers. 

I predict after this terrible virus leaves our world, we will be more adept at expressing ourselves without using our big mouths.