Dancin' at Gilda's

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On March 4, 2019, I finished my treatment for breast cancer. What an exciting, memorable day! I had twenty sessions of radiation, that had been preceded by four rounds of chemo. Six months earlier, after my diagnosis, I had a lumpectomy that removed the 1.3-centimeter tumor from my breast and four lymph nodes.

After the surgery, I was told I was cancer free! The margins were clear!  I was jumping for joy. But sadly, my Oncotype DX test score was too high. This is a genomic test of the tumor to determine for recurrence of cancer. 

My score was 32 and that was out of the safety range. So, I had chemotherapy. Four rounds of taxotere and cyclophosamide infusions, that made my hair fall out. The Neulasta patch that keeps white blood cells from dropping too low gave me chills and sweats, caused my muscles to ache and made my urine smell funny. The steroids made my face round and moon-like.

Who was this person? I didn’t know her, but the face in the mirror looked like me. Not a pleasant experience, treatment for cancer, but the alternative, is far worse. I was lucky, and as of this writing the cancer is still gone.

On March 5, 2019, one day after my treatment was finished, I walked myself over to Gilda’s Clubhouse, a club for cancer people and their families. Founded by the amazing comedian, Gilda Radner, the Clubhouse is a free place for everyone who has been touched by cancer to hang out. I love this place!

During treatment, I had a meeting with two lovely social workers at Gilda’s, to discuss my situation, treatment and prognosis.  I was given a lovely welcome breakfast. My jeweled headscarf covered my lack of hair.  I wept a little as I talked about my Dad who had passed away that year at 100 years of age.  I was grateful to be alive, but I still had a lot of healing to do.

I browsed the monthly calendar; I was like a kid in a candy shop. So many activities that sounded wonderful! Dance and yoga and movement classes, art and writing, even improv for the neophyte actor. Where to begin?

I started slowly with restorative yoga and Tai Chi. I realized I was still in a state of exhaustion from the treatments and from the change in my life and health. The yoga and Tai Chi gave me time to breathe and think and try to be peaceful.

I began to dance again, after not taking a dance class for 30 years. Be Movedis a dance class designed to include the older dancer and dancers with disabilities. The teachers are nurturing and encouraging. The music genres change weekly and I began to have a lot of fun. I stretched, I danced, I reached for the stars. I continue to dance every Friday at Gilda’s.

I plan to take a quilting class and a class to help me journal my memories of cancer. I have attended wonderful holiday parties where the company was amazing and the food and music terrific. The comfort dog, Sherman the Shorkie, is a favorite of mine. I can’t resist patting his little head as he gazes lovingly into my eyes.

On top of all the wonderful activities, the greatest gift at Gilda’s is making new friends. I have met men and women who have been in treatment or who are in the middle of one. I have met their partners and children and dear friends who accompany them for activities and events.  Every week after dance class, we sit down and drink tea and coffee and talk about life.

Sometimes we bring baked goods, sometimes we get to sample delicious food that the healthy cooking class provides. We have traded our chemo caps along with laughs, hugs and tears. We have attended a fabulous make-up and makeover session at Sephora that Gilda’s facilitated for us. 

We are survivors. We are bound together with friendship and by the bond that having cancer brings. This bond crosses all ages and backgrounds. We love one another, not only because of our shared illness but because we are helping each other triumph over cancer. Coffee and conversation with a healthy dose of dancing, it saved me. Thank you, Gilda’s Clubhouse.